The End Of A Decade

In my younger self, while I was in the Marines. I had this awareness of the impression in my mind that I wasn’t going to make it home from Afghanistan. I was sure not going to make it to the age of 23, let alone, that I’m turning 33 next year. I’m sure I’ve shocked a few people with my age just then but it is true I will be 33 on March 31st, 2021.

When you watch the movies and the badass goes off and kicks the shit out of the bad guys! Well, we did that and we all didn’t make it. Somehow I did and I am truly grateful for what the last 10 years of my life have brought me. The love, the pain, the hope, the bad, and the good. I’m so grateful that I have decided to end my 32nd year with 108 days of gratitude! Additionally, I had a really shitty 2019 and 2020 has graciously given me the time to recover and begin the process of healing.

I’m not doing this for anything other than my own self-reflection. However, I have struggled severely over the last 14 months, and finally having a grasp for a moment I have decided to do something for the benefit of my own brain. Just doing something like this for 30 days will have a profound effect and I’m about to triple it through the holidays.

I am always being grateful, so this isn’t as if I am trying to acknowledge my gratitude to get some back. This would be silly and against what I try to do as a yogi. So there will be times I don't share my gratitude publicly.

My goal is to shift my mind away from all the negative experiences I have had in my life. I may not be able to unlearn instincts that I have developed or were born with. But I can in my belief replace those thoughts with gratitude.

While that is my approach, I am actually anxious and trying not to create any expectations for what will change and or how it will change my life.

I don’t want to return to the past or how things were and I can’t predict the future so here we are living the present moment. Tomorrow I will write what I am grateful for that day. I might share it or I might keep it to myself. I will do this every day until I turn 33.

I don’t plan on planning what I am grateful for I am just going to do my thing and just acknowledge something great in my life at the moment I think about it. I want all the feels, good and bad to come up. I want to force myself out of this negative thought pattern that I know I have been in.

Do you think I will make it? What do you think will happen? Let me know in the comments!

Do you want to do it with me? Or join me for the last 31 days? Maybe start your 2021 off with 30 days! Regardless, let us all have some more gratitude! Especially for yourself!

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©2020 by Nicholas Caris