Goal: the object of a person's ambition or effort; an aim or desired result.
I haven’t written a blog lately as I have been between many thoughts and I have been trying to define my goals of the future and what I should do with my life. This led me to think about the past and I have devoted a lot of time to this reflection. When I was growing up the only sport I played continually was wrestling. Back then the only thing I wanted to do with my life was to become a Marine! That has literally been my only goal in life! When I was wrestling, I wasn't winning for me I was winning for the team. I only graduated high school because it was easier for me to join the Marines with a diploma, and my mother begged me too. I was going to drop out and take the GED test so I could go to the corps a year early. I did this all because I loved my country and my family so much and I knew that some couldn’t serve so it was my duty to serve. Even after the Corps, I went to college without a goal of anything except to learn something I knew nothing about. I didn’t care to have that piece of paper but everyone else did so I went and I don’t regret it.
When I started yoga it was the first thing I really did for myself and even that lead to me becoming a teacher and I realized that everything I have achieved my whole life has been for the benefit of others. This isn’t an ego post because I really felt sad knowing that I had never set out to do anything purely for my own benefit. I was actually sad that I couldn’t set a goal for me!
Well, I then with more thought realized that my life has never been about me and that actually made me happy with myself I was proud to realize that it was never about me and that I continue to serve others. I was extremely happy to be blessed with my family and friends that led me down this path of selfless service and I have so much gratitude now than I ever did before.
If you are a parent you can probably relate to this post rather easily as I hear all the time I am doing (reason here) for my kids.
I was at this camp for Marines and other veterans to help them transition from service into civilian life. I go up and teach yoga! Well the general that runs it says many profound things and yet what I always take away is that it's never about you, he says that we need to be a giver to society and not a taker. At this point in time, you have to ask yourself how much is enough giving? Apply this to both what you give and what you get. It’s pretty difficult to measure this as it can be measured in many, many, ways. Sometimes we are in a hard place and we need to take a little bit so we can balance that teeter-totter. And sometimes we have so much that we don’t know how much to give or even how we should give it.
These are very tough questions to ask yourself and there isn’t really a definitive right or wrong answer. Logic should be your best friend here as you look inward to answer these questions and not try and compare yourself to anyone else because it's never about you! Everything we do in life is mine! My car, my body, my mind, my actions, my ex-wife, my kids, my house...etc…. How do you think if you had nothing? What is mine? And in yoga, we ask the question, Who am I?
As I dig into my own practice and how I live my life, I have got to defining a non-dualistic point of view. Meaning I am one, we are one, we are that! Not just humans but everything, living or the objects that you see everywhere. Why? Because it's never been about me or I all along. Now you can believe this theory or not, but that's not why I wrote this blog, because it's not about me and I am not trying to change you I accept you for who you are without any judgment. I don’t judge myself so judging you cannot be present.
I wrote this blog for you, so you can look at your own life and scale the question for your own self, who am I, what is mine, and am I a giver, what do I give, are my goals for me or for you? What do I take? Is it about you? Can you change the way you think? Can you change your actions?