• Nicholas Caris


Have you ever been screwed over by someone or some organization? Whether you didn’t understand or somehow your fault or some technicality? Maybe it was a family member or your best friend! Oh you remember that time you thought you were just going to or, you just bought, but then what happened was it was a lie or you ended with a bill that should have not been your responsibility.

Well, too bad is what I am here to tell you!!!

Yep! Too bad, you let it happen to yourself. I am not saying this to be an asshole but you made the decision and didn’t learn before or maybe you TRUSTED!!!!

Maybe you didn't listen to someone about someone or something else?

Why would you do such a thing to yourself? Seriously though I have been there, when I was in the Marines, I had a best friend screw me, during reenlistment in afghan I asked that they talk to me after the deployment but no one did. I have had women and men take advantage of my willingness to say yes. I even had a guy tell me he had a bunch of money and he didn’t.

I moved 300 miles just to find out the day later that it was a lie. Who gives a shit who it was. That story has had a massive impact on a lot more than just my little self. Regardless, it was a blow to trust someone only to be, as we said in the Marines, F'ed by the green weenie!

I can only blame myself! Yes, this post is about accountability! Not saying that you shouldn’t fight for what’s right or wrong. Or never trust anyone again. However, how do you decide what is my responsibility or someone else’s fault?

Well, the formula goes: Did you say yes? Did you understand the situation, Yes? Did you know the risk, Yes? Did you desire an outcome, YES?

If you agreed with any of those statements it was your fault or at least some of it was! and you should accept your own decisions.

Let’s make one thing clear… If you said no at any point and were forced to do something for any reason then we have a victim issue. Not moral or ethically an issue in this writing. The separate thing that for some reason people still don’t understand. (another post maybe in the future about victimization.)

If you said no and were manipulated by a narcist than its not your fault…. Should you punish that person or organization? Maybe you should just not pay?

There are many other ethical disputes and accountability disputes that I cannot disclose because of their sensitivity for additional examples. However, I can tell you that I have been around a great deal of controversy and well some things are in limbo still.

Most sides refuse to submit, and why?

Personal and ethical views are embedded from the time you are born until forever. What you see is how you learn ethics and morals. When you see your parents or people around you react negatively to YOUR actions even thoughts or words. This imprints the brain and well then you have a behavior that is not accepted or ethically /morally wrong. Why because its just how we are wired, like horses it’s safer together, not at home!

So how do we mitigate this?

Easy, we just have to stop reacting so emotionally, to meaningless situations, where we absolutely know nothing about anything. Also, just because it’s irritating, or annoying to us is our problem, not someone else’s. We have a choice, so CHOOSE!!!

CHOOSE: to be happy, to be calm, to be balanced emotionally. Choose to welcome inconsistencies, disruptions, interruptions, surprises, fears, frustrations, etc…

Welcome these things and ultimately choose your hard: it’s hard to be violent and it’s hard to be peaceful. Make a choice and well live with it.

Even more, choose what's kind!

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